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NEWSFLASH! Dog angry at Pig, takes out on unsuspecting Koala.

Koala: "ACKKK!!!"

SEREMBAN, 18 Feb -- Annoyed at being unable to reign as the Chinese Zodiac Animal King for another year, Dogs all over the continent have been showing aggressiveness and bitchiness over the reign of Pigs for the year 2007. "Pigs only eat and sleep and play in mud, why should they take reign??" says Popo, a Pomeranian (pictured above, with Koala and Baby). "As far as I'm concerned, they don't guard any houses, do they?? Do they save children from fires?? What's so good about being a bloody pig??!!"

Partying nearby in the mud, Pigs sang in unison "Our orgasms last for 30 seconds, neh nenny neh nehhhhh!" loud enough for Popo to hear. Chaos took place when Popo's tiny ears picked up the song from afar, and he started attacking unsuspecting Koala and Baby in total anger and bitchiness (despite being a male).

A heavy struggle ensued as Koala and Baby, who were often seen sleeping 20 hours a day and waking up to poo, pee and munch on leaves and minding their own business, were taken by shock at the sudden attack. After the incident, Koala exclaimed, "I just wish Steve Irwin was here, since we're both Australians. He would know who to save."

Dog awaits trial, and eyewitness and kepochis forsee a long 12-year wait for its next reign. At time of press, Pigs are still partying in the mud.